9 Psychological Habits That Eliminate Happiness From Your Life

9 Psychological Habits That Eliminate Happiness From Your Life 

It is never too late to adopt new ways to make you happier.
Throughout our lives, we are confronted with too many people and the fact that we tend to put them in "categories" shows how much we believe that people behave in certain ways by their nature.

The truth is that many aspects of our personality develop over time through the psychological habits we have adopted, how we interpret events, the thoughts that run through our minds, and the explanations we give ourselves. us about how the world works.

Almost no one wants to see things negatively and yet it is not so unusual, especially for people who have experienced difficult times, more than they would like.

Do you want to have a more hopeful and optimistic outlook on life? See if you can minimize these psychological habits that make people unhappy.

1. When you do not forgive others

Many people think that forgiveness is the same as completely forgetting something or believing that "nothing happened." But this is not forgiveness. Similarly, many people claim to have forgiven someone for something, when in fact, they have not.

Forgiveness means allowing yourself to be free from the resentment of the feeling of injustice, accepting that something has happened but believing that you deserve to get over it. It is the declaration of your independence from the urge to take revenge on someone else, to stop thinking about how you will "make them pay for it" and to continue to allow it to erode your emotional well-being.

Forgiveness is releasing yourself in the healthiest, truest sense of the word. Forgiveness does not minimize the injustice that someone has done to you. It just lets you not get hurt by them anymore. Forgiveness is associated with reducing depression, anxiety, hostility, improving self-esteem, and even physical health. If one looks at its benefits, one will see that it is about being kind to yourself and not about doing something else.

2. When you do not forgive yourself

It is even better to allow yourself to overcome his mistakes. Sadness, shame, and guilt over a single mistake you may have made may haunt you for years. And the subsequent negative thoughts, anxiety and pessimistic perspective can create a dynamic, through
which you see the world with bitterness and all this because you feel unworthy to feel good.

In fact, forgiving yourself is associated with helping to reduce feelings of depression. If you find yourself overwhelmed by thoughts of past mistakes, start looking at them and exploring them: When is the worst? What emotions do they evoke? What makes them disappear?

If you are trapped in an endless battle with thoughts, trying to "rationalize" your exit from them, consider whether, instead, you can learn to accept their presence without validating them. I understand what I'm thinking. But he can't let it hurt me now, because I decide what to do from now on. "

3. The reasoning of All or Nothing

It's amazing how often the all-or-nothing reasoning seems to be the basis of such a variety of unhealthy psychological states. From panic to low self-esteem, from perfectionism to despair, it's not uncommon for me to reveal hidden, but not so hidden, patterns of this dysfunctional thinking in my patients when they struggle with their negative worldview.

What the "all-or-nothing" reasoning from its definition says is that your outlook on life is rigid. It magnifies negativity by making it look bigger than it really is. It keeps your mind focused on what went wrong and not what went right, and that makes you see the bad in people, in things, and in life, more often than good.

Try if you can notice yourself making this mistake in everyday life: Do you feel uncomfortable by nature and prefer things to be black and white? This may be good for organizing a closet, but it may not be helpful when it comes to editing the bad things that happen.

4. When you have higher expectations of others than you do

When you are constantly frustrated and annoyed by the people around you, it may mean that you may have been unlucky and not being treated the way you deserve. It could also mean that you have chosen inappropriate people in your immediate environment or life. Or most likely, it could mean that you have a tendency to have too high expectations for the behavior of other people, which you do not apply to yourself.

In fact, we sometimes find it harder to deal with others when we see our own characteristics, such as things we don't like to admit or look at. We feel uncomfortable seeing these features in others. Like the classic hypocrite who protests against sins far less than he commits, he will certainly create a disconnect within us that causes stress, hostility, and negativity.

Examine what really happens when you're frustrated with someone, whether it's the stranger on the left lane or your dirty roommate. Do you see the overall picture? What if instead of accepting the negative energy, you chose to worry about the last time you made a mistake and how it might have seemed to others? Empathy for other people, even when you don't want to, can be a surprisingly powerful tool to dispel your anger.

5. When you think things will never get better

Severe despair can be very dangerous and can increase the risk of depression and even suicide. But even milder beliefs about things that won't improve can cause significant daily damage: "My sister will never recover," "I will never be able to repay my loans," and "The world is a bad place and it all gets worse all the time ”are beliefs that show despair and can blind a person to important clues to the opposite effect.

Life is, for most of us, a long journey of decades, with its ups and downs and many setbacks. The belief that there is a steady downward trajectory, hinders the beauty of everyday things and keeps you desperately and wrongly believing in negative ideas, giving them a power they do not deserve.

Imagine how much peace you can feel just by allowing yourself to believe that outside the world there are harmonious and beautiful things that you have not experienced. It takes work with yourself to see them, but they are there and always will be.

6. When you think you have less control over your life than you really have

Learning disability was first noted by Martin Seligman and refers to the belief that we have no control over our situations, even in cases where we have, so we are convinced that we should not even bother to try. This mentality is associated with depression for some people, followed by a period during which they did not really have control over their lives, and may have suffered abuse or neglect.

But when the belief that we have no power remains even when, in fact, we have gained strength, we deny ourselves the ability to make our lives better. We also increase the likelihood of seeing the world as inherently discouraging, convincing ourselves that we cannot make a difference.

The more we can feel that we are in control of our own ship, the more we can build a life that suits us. Do you underestimate your ability to get out of this impasse, find a partner who will treat you well, or resolve your long-running quarrel peacefully with your brother? If so, do yourself a great disservice and increase your chances of letting the bad mentality beat you.

7. When we believe in the myth of arrival

The myth of arrival refers to the idea that once you have "reached" a certain point in your life, everything will be settled and the life you have been waiting for will begin now. But sometimes this belief, that things will automatically get better once a certain thing happens, can be almost as devastating as believing that things will never improve because the former gives you the energy for a catastrophic disappointment when things don't really get any better. But putting our happiness in wait and in the hands of a random life event that may or may not have any effect of happiness on us,


It deprives us of the opportunity to find joy in our own terms. It makes us miss the proverbial journey because we are so over-focused on the destination. Worst of all, it prepares us for a frustrating crash, when we realize that it wasn't those 20 pounds that made us feel depressed, it was the fact that we were depressed, for different reasons that made us gain 20 pounds from the beginning.

8. When we overgrow

The belief that if you fail at one thing, you will fail at everything, was one of the "cognitive errors" that Aaron Beck first identified as putting people at greater risk of developing depression. The tendency to over-generalize, to turn a small obstacle into a mountain, also inspires the thinking patterns of many people who have differing negative views of the world around them.

Sometimes this kind of thinking can even seem like paranoia: "Give it a go and it will take your head off" or "everyone will take advantage of you if you let them."
It is true that not every person is a model of virtue, but it is also true that there is a lot of goodness out there if you just let yourself discover it.

And just because there are scammers doesn't mean we should stop helping those who aren't. After all, when we help others, we feel a sense of well-being. So look at your beliefs to see if, from all the available data you have, you are overhauling the world in a dangerous or hostile environment, which may indicate a hostility that comes from within you.

9. When you do not show practical gratitude

Gratitude for small and big things brings big changes to your mental health. Why grumble about the slow service in a restaurant ("I'm never going to come back to this restaurant") and let it ruin your whole night instead of letting yourself know how wonderful the flowering trees were outside from the restaurant window while waiting or the fact that you can have the financial resources to dine out or the fact that you are with someone who could make you laugh no matter how loud your stomachs were churning.

Some people may think that gratitude or keeping a list of things you are grateful for is pseudo-emotional. But you'd rather be a little pseudo-emotional or be the person who lives his whole life without the mental and physical benefits to his health, among other things without depressive symptoms, with improved immune function and a healthy heart, related to gratitude;